The Emotional Toll of an Invisible Disease
I don't know what it's like. How it feels to be high or low, to be burdened with equipment, to deal with things beeping and vibrating in a quiet room full of her peers, to be constantly nagged. Did you check, do you have your stuff, do you feel high/low, and so on, and so on....
I know it can't be easy. And I also know that I overlook her emotions sometimes because I'm too focused on her numbers. It's easy to get caught up in but I'm trying hard to walk the line between managing her disease and maintaining her emotional well being. I need to remember to be mom first and nurse second.
She forgot to bolus for dinner last night which led to a sky-high blood sugar before bed. I was instantly annoyed and she saw it in my eyes. The tears came and then the apologies. A twelve-year-old girl with the weight of the world on her shoulders sobbing and apologizing for forgetting to take her insulin before her meal. I can't remember where I put my car keys on a regular basis. I've gone to birthday parties on the wrong day. I put things "away" in safe places never to be found again.
And that's when I take her into my arms and tell her how brave she is and how strong she is and that I'm so sorry that she's been dealt this hand. Because she's a little girl first and a diabetic second.
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