In our house we call this life support...

"I feel low."  These three little words stop me in my tracks no matter what I'm doing.  It is my drop everything and go into automatic pilot phrase.

Find the blood sugar meter, make sure her fingers are clean, check, treat with fast acting sugar, and repeat. Every 15 minutes until we're happy with the resulting number.  But, above all else, don't look scared.  Even if the number is alarmingly low, don't look scared.  Because if I look scared so will she.  So I smile and check and recheck while my heart is doing a little rat-a-tat-tat beat.  And then everything is fine.  For now.

This is why our home looks like a mix between a pharmacy and a candy store. The insulin brings it down, the sugar brings it up.  And so on, and so on, and so on.... The trick is to find the balance between the two.  Challenge accepted!!!  

Sugar and Spice.....

Saying goodbye to sugar and spice and everything nice is bittersweet.  It's tough watching your little girl turn into a young woman.  Just over two years ago we moved into our Bolton home and doused Caitlin's room with pink and lavender and all things frilly.  She asked me several weeks ago if we could "ungirly" her room.  What?  The shabby chic bedding & curtains, the lavender walls, the pink flokati rug?  They all need to go?

Yes, says she!  T1D adds a whole new layer of complexity to these changes. Growth and puberty cause drastic changes in insulin needs and lead to wild fluctuations in blood sugars. And good luck trying to figure out if mood swings are due to hypo or hyperglycemia or if your child is simply acting like a pre-teen.   Imagine hearing "did you check your blood sugar?" every time you're cranky, moody, sad, or giddy?

So the American Girl dolls have been packed away, the Judy Moody books donated, and the lavender walls will soon give way to new color. And we all hang on for this bumpy ride we call life with T1D.

Pump Sightings in the Wild

Until you're knee deep in it T1D isn't even on your radar. You're oblivious to what it entails. How much planning and preparation every little trip takes. Whether it be to the mall or the other side of the country. I'm getting more lackadaisical about it and it shows. 

Caitlin and I recently ventured out to the movies. A quick 25 minute drive which turned into 2 round-trips, during rush hour, because someone (that would be me), forgot to throw a blood sugar meter in her purse.  We still made the movie but it cut into our precious pre-movie shopping time.  We went through the stages of should we guess, eat low carb, grab a new meter and strips at target ($$$$$), etc..  But we knew the only answer was to run back home for it.  

Spotting someone else with T1D out in the general population is not something I would have expected we would get so excited about. Seeing the little peek of tubing at someone's waistband, or a pump site on the back of someone's arm. It sparks a whole conversation about how long since diagnosis, what pump you use, and makes you feel connected to this perfect stranger in an instant.  

While out this weekend celebrating "The Diabirthday" Caitlin spotted a woman bolusing for desert on the front steps of Pastiche in Providence. That one little spotting offered her a sense of normalcy and solidarity in her journey that she sometimes feels alone on.  So thank you anonymous woman in Providence with the Animas Ping.  Thank you for showing Caitlin that she should wear her pump loud and proud and never feel the need to hide who and what she is.

Two Years and Counting

It's here.  That bittersweet date that I will never, in my whole life, forget.  The date that could have just as easily been her last but was, instead, her first. The words were there. On the tip of my tongue, tucked in the back of my mind for days before diagnosis. I knew deep down that it was coming but I couldn't wrap my head around it enough to accept it.  Just another day or two. It's just a virus. She's getting better.  If I don't put a name to it then it isn't real.

But it was. And then there was diabetes.

It's a funny day to celebrate. Most in our circle call it a diaversary. Caitlin calls it her diabirthday. She can call it whatever she wants.  It's her burden to carry. We're just along for the ride.

Two years.

5,840 finger sticks
1,825 injections
180 pump site changes
75 cgm site changes
12 missed school days for illness and appointments
15 trips to her endocrinologist's office

The burden is hers but she carries it with such grace that it appears effortless.  So today we celebrate Caitlin.  We celebrate her bravery.  Her perseverance. Her strength.  And we celebrate with cake because yes, diabetics can eat cake 💖