Diabetes - The Toll it Takes
Her school trip is approaching. Something the kids get excited about years before they go. Planning what they'll bring, who they'll bunk with. It's been on my mind for nearly as long. Three nights and four days away from home. She's been away longer than that before. It's not the duration of the trip I'm worried about. It's her first time away with no one familiar caring for her diabetes. I didn't think it was on her mind. It's a grown-up worry, not for her. Until she told me last night she didn't want to go. I knew why, she didn't have to say it. And my heart broke a little bit for her. I realized that although she rarely complains about diabetes or makes it seem like a big deal, that it does take a toll on her. That it wears on her and chips away at her innocence a little at a time.
In her world of school, trips to the mall, and sleepovers her diabetes is hers. Her friends and classmates get a very small glimpse of what it entails. They know she can snack in class, carries extra stuff with her, stops at the nurses office before lunch, most don't even know why. Only her closest of friends have ever seen her check her blood sugar or even take her pump out to bolus. It's transparent. At camp it won't be so simple. There are tasks that must be preformed. Bedtime checks, pod changes, maybe even a nighttime low that will require treatment.
She'll go on the trip. I know she does want to go. She's a social butterfly and it would kill her to miss it. I know she's in turmoil, as I am, about how she's going to manage. But we'll figure it out. We always do. Because she has diabetes but I will not let it have her.
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